I'm the kind of person who gets distracted by shiny objects.

I'm the kind of person who never knows what day of the week it is.

I'm like a magnet for bad luck, but I still haven't won the lottery.

I'm the kind of person who trips over their own shadow...and apologizes to it.

I tried to start a workout routine, but my couch won that battle.

I'm like a fish out of water in social situations.

I'm like a plant - I wilt at the first sign of responsibility.

I have a face for podcasting and a voice for mime performances.

I'm like a broken compass - I can't find my way out of a paper bag.

I'm the kind of person who remembers embarrassing moments from 10 years ago in the middle of the night.

I have a dance style that can best be described as 'awkward flailing.'

I tried to make a DIY face mask and ended up scaring myself in the mirror.

I'm so bad at parallel parking, I once took up three spots without realizing it.

I'm so bad at sports, my Fitbit sends me passive-aggressive messages.

I once got lost in my own neighborhood. Google Maps wasn't even helpful.

My sense of direction is so bad, even my shadow gets lost.

I went to a psychic, and she told me I had a bright future... as a streetlight.

My love life is like a one-sided coin - always heads I lose.

I once tried to impress someone by cooking them dinner. Let's just say takeout was Plan B.

I tried to be a morning person once - it didn't go well.

I tried to be fashionable once and ended up on a 'worst-dressed' list.