How do you make a plumber cry? Steal his pipe wrench!

What did the fish say when it was in trouble? I'm in deep water, hook, line, and sinker!

How does a snowman get around town? By riding an iceicle!

What did the grape do when it was crushed? It let out a little whine followed by a sour note!

Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two tired from all the spinning classes!

Why did the gardener go to therapy? He had too many deep-rooted issues!

Why did the math book throw up? It couldn't handle its own problems!

Why did the balloon go to the party? It wanted to be a pop star!

Why did the clock get kicked out of school? It kept tocking in class!

Why did the scarecrow become a successful musician? He had the best straw sound!

Why did the broom get a raise? It really swept the boss off his feet!

Why did the tree go to the therapist? It had some deep-rooted issues!

Why did the balloon get a job? It needed to inflate its resume!

I tried to balance on a yoga ball, but I rolled right off and onto the floor.

I attempted to do a barrel roll, but I barrelled right into a wall.

I tried to do the worm dance move, but I just wiggled like a floundering fish.

I attempted to do a cannonball dive, but I cannonballed straight into the pool deck.

I tried to do a handstand pirouette, but I pirouetted right into a wall.

I attempted to do a cartwheel, but I cartwheeled straight into a bush.

I tried to do a backflip off a diving board, but I backflopped into the water.

I attempted to do a split, but I heard a rip instead.