Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he always had a straw-credible performance.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it caught the spaghetti sauce cheating with the lasagna.

Why did the lawyer carry a flask to work? In case he needed to wet his briefs.

Why did the ghost attend therapy? It needed to exorcise its inner demons.

Why did the lumberjack win the spelling bee? He knew how to axes the right questions.

Why wasn't the skeleton afraid of the dark? It had no guts to feel fear.

What's the best way to get over a breakup with a clown? Try juggling the pain away.

What's the difference between a park bench and a tax collector? The bench can support a family.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? He found her a little too tasteless.

Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded a little help.

Why did the ghost go to the prom? To find a ghoulfriend.

Why was the garden always happy? It had a lot of plants to cheer it up.

Why did the tomato get elected president? It had good ketchup ideas.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was a little tired.

Why did the fisherman always bring a needle to the river? In case he caught a sharp dressed fish.

Why was the calendar so happy? It had a lot of dates.

Why did the ghost go on a diet? He needed to eat boooooootylicious food.

Why was the teacher always calm? She had a lot of control.

Why did the calendar quit its job? It felt its days were numbered.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? He needed to make a good veinccome.

Why was the teacher always cold? She had too many degrees.