Why did the vampire start a band? He heard they were a hit at the coffin.

Why did the witch become a therapist? She knew how to brew love potions.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To ribs some bones.

Why couldn't the ghost find a job? He had a haunting criminal record.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants in a belt-only area.

Why did the skeleton get in trouble at school? He was caught skipping class.

Why did the ghost get detention? He had a haunting behavior.

What did the zombie eat after his teeth fell out? The dentist.

Why couldn't the witch have kids? Her husband had a spell on him.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? He wanted someone he could sink his teeth into.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She was giving him the cold shoulder.

Why did the tomato turn into a fruit? It wanted to be jell-o.

Why was the clown sad? His career was in ruins.

I told my therapist I had a fear of giants. He told me, 'Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. Deal with it.'

I asked my wife if she wanted a hug. She replied, 'I'm not in the mood.' I said, 'Imagine if I was.'

I told my wife I wanted a funeral with 'a twist'. She said, 'How about cremation?'

I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my nostalgia. He recommended 'Back to the Future'.

I tried to make a joke about the plague, but all my friends died laughing.

Why did the baker go to therapy? He was feeling a bit kneaded.

My wife left me because she said I was too mysterious. Or did she?

I told my wife I had a fear of ghosts. She told me to grow up. I haven't seen her since.