What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A nectarine.

Why was the zombie always calm? He was dead inside.

Why did the vampire stop teaching math? Because he had too many negative students.

What did the lawyer wear to the Halloween party? A lawsuit.

Why did the storm trooper start his own business? He wanted to make a clone.

Why did the vampire start comedy? Because he had a killer sense of humor.

Why did the zombie go to the brain surgeon? He needed a no-brainer operation.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get a spare rib.

Why did the vampire get hired as a photo editor? He always knows how to turn someone into a ghost.

Why did the coffin take a nap? It was feeling dead tired.

What did the banana say to the ghost? 'Boo-nana.'

Why was the burglar so good at his job? He always knew how to break in.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire stops sucking your blood after you're dead.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She was too high maintenance.

Why was the belt unhappy with its job? It felt it was being held back.

What's harder than finding a needle in a haystack? Finding the hay in a needle stack.

Why did the serial killer bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to raise the roof.

Why don't skeletons fight in a war? They don't have the stomach for it.

How did the zombie get a promotion? He was a real go-getter at work.

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? I-scream.