What's a zombie's favorite bean? A human bean.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? To make a withdrawal.

What's a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.

Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? He couldn't stomach the stake.

Why did the zombie apply for a job at the blood bank? He wanted to work the graveyard shift.

Why couldn't the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were trans-parents.

Why did the coffin break up with the cemetery? They had grave differences.

What did the devil say when he lost his sunglasses? 'Where the hell are they?'

Why do mummies have trouble sharing secrets? They keep wrapping things up.

What did the possessed doll say to the kid? Play with me if you dare.

Why did the witch refuse to ride her broom? It was such a pain in the neck.

Why did the necromancer break up with his girlfriend? She kept raising a stink about his job.

Why do crematoriums give discounts? They urn your trust.

What do you call a cemetery that ran out of space? A dead end.

Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He wanted his just desserts.

Why was the belt feeling lonely? It felt waist-ed.

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.

Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? He couldn't keep his teeth to himself.

Why was the ghost such a messy eater? He always goes straight for the ghoul-ash.

How do you unlock a deadbolt? With a skeleton key.

Why was the math book thrown in jail? It was full of problems.