Why did the coffin break up with the bed? It couldn't handle the commitment.

Why did the vampire quit drinking blood? He got a bad case of bats in the belfry.

Why did the ghost get stuck in the chimney? He was feeling flueish.

Why did the coffin take a nap? It was feeling coffin-tented.

Why was the traffic light feeling blue? It just couldn't change its outlook.

What's a skeleton's least favorite room? The living room.

Why did the computer catch a cold? It had too many viruses.

Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? He was outstanding in his field of humor.

Why did the zombie join the track team? He heard they were racing for brains.

Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Why did the chicken bring a towel to the pool? To help dry off after swimming in its own juices.

Why did the burglar take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

Why did the skeleton go to the party by himself? He had no body to go with him.

Why do ghosts hate rain on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.

Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? Because he was outstanding in his field of jokes.

Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to make a withdrawal.

Why did the coffin break up with the bed? It wanted a relationship that was more grounded.

Why was the ghost such a great chef? Because he had all the right ingredients... for disaster.

Why was the werewolf so good at problem solving? Because he always went for the jugular.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She was always picking at him.

Why did the vampire refuse to fight in the war? He decided it wasn't worth his life, blood, and limb.