Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his brain-dead status.

Why did the mummy become a chef? Because he heard he could wrap up his enemies... in delicious tacos.

Why was the ghost scientist an expert in chemistry? He specialized in boo-logy.

Why did the skeleton refuse to attend the party? He didn't have the guts for socializing.

Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? He didn't want to stick his neck out for a meal.

Why was the coffin's relationship with the bed so rocky? They kept burying the hatchet.

Why did the zombie do poorly in school? He kept losing his head in class.

Why did Dracula go to school? He wanted to improve his byte-sized knowledge.

Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his bone-dry humor.

Why did the ghost become a detective? Because he had a knack for haunting mysteries.

Why was the vampire such a good comedian? He always knew how to suck the life out of a joke.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn't his type of person.

Why don't ghosts ever tell secrets? They tend to haunt you with the truth.

Why don't skeletons ever go on roller coasters? They don't have the stomach for it.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice.

Why did the orphan go to the party? Because he heard they had free food.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.

Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend? She was hay to him.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful therapist? Because he was outstanding at dealing with straw men.

Why was the cemetery so noisy? Because of all the coffin.