Jokes about morbid or controversial topics; not for everyone.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they are shellfish.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.
Why did the vampire get hired by Microsoft? He was good at byte-ing people.
What's the difference between a pizza and a musician? A pizza can feed a family of four.
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to class? She wanted to make up the exam.
Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was a scream.
What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere.
What's the best way to watch a lawyers' convention? On mute.
What did the boy tomato say to the girl tomato? You're a ketchup.
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile? Trying to fit in.
Why did the butcher break up with his girlfriend? She kept bringing up old beef.
How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke.
What's black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn.
Why don't serial killers play hide and seek? Because good hiders are hard to find.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to dance with.
Why did the man with no hands cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
Why did the tomato turn into a salad? Because it saw the dressing and couldn't ketchup.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? He kneaded some dough.
Why did the math book look happy? Because it had too many solutions.