I don't get why we say we're 'going to bed' when we actually go to sleep on the bed, not inside it.

If two vegans are arguing, is it still called beef?

Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?

I wonder if ghosts ever boo themselves in the mirror to practice.

Why do we say 'time to hit the hay' when we actually lay on it?

I wish my wallet would get fatter as much as I do after a big meal.

Do you ever wonder if squirrels are just rats with cute outfits?

I always get nervous when someone says 'trust me', it's like they know I'm about to make a mistake.

Isn't it funny how we all secretly judge people's shopping cart contents while waiting in line at the grocery store?

Have you ever noticed how our phones have become our personal assistants, but we still can't get them to understand our voice commands half the time?

Why is it that whenever I'm trying to be quiet, I always end up dropping the loudest thing in the room?

Why is it that as soon as you sit down to enjoy a quiet moment, your dog suddenly needs to go outside?

Do you ever wonder if clouds look down on us and say, 'Hey, that one looks like an idiot'?

Isn't it funny how the best parking spots are always taken by cars that don't even need to park close?

Have you realized that the word 'bed' actually looks like a bed?

Why is it that the day you forget your umbrella is the day it pours?

Don't you find it amusing how a light bulb over someone's head in cartoons represents a great idea, but in reality, it just indicates they need to change it?

Isn't it odd how we feel the need to apologize when someone else bumps into us?

Do you ever find yourself counting the stairs as you walk down them for no reason at all?

Why do we always run out of toilet paper at the exact moment we need it the most?

Have you ever noticed how 'incorrectly' is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary?