I'm friends with a carpenter, our conversations always nail it.

I'm friends with a gardener, our friendship is blooming.

I tried to take a selfie with my pet bird, but she kept flying away.

I'm friends with a popcorn kernel, we're always popping in on each other.

I used to work at a fruit market, but couldn't find my grape-ful career path.

I'm friends with a plumber, our bond is draining.

I tried to write a joke about construction, but it didn't hammer the punchline.

I used to be a baseball player, but I couldn't catch a break.

I'm friends with a musician, our bond strikes a chord.

I tried to write a joke about cows, but it was udderly ridiculous.

My dad still calls me 'son', even though I changed my name to Dave.

I'm trying to write a joke about leeches but it's not sticking.

I lost my watch at a party once, now I have time to spare.

I tried to take a selfie at the zoo, but the animals kept photobombing me.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape, that created quite a rift between us.

I'm reading a book about mazes, it's a real page-turner.

I wasn't originally planning to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I'm friends with people who own their own private islands, they're the cream of the crop.

I'm friends with billionaires who laugh at my jokes, that's rich.

I haven't slept for ten days because that would be too long.

I used to be a baker, but I struggled to make ends meet.