I used to be a shoe salesman - I just couldn't flip-flop on the job.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it was a bit of a struggle to get it going.

I told my wife she should do more cardio - now she shops faster.

I'm friends with a lot of different types of bees because they're my bae goals.

I told my computer it had a virus, now it's feeling sick.

I'm friends with a comedian, but our jokes are a bit flat.

I asked my watch for the time, now it's clocking me.

I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday, but it was half-baked.

I used to be a detective, but I couldn't find the clues.

I'm friends with a dictionary, but we're just not on the same page.

I tried to draw a circle, but it was pointless.

I asked my cat for a joke, now it's purring with laughter.

I'm friends with a car, but it's always steering me in the wrong direction.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but I ran out of time.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't leaf my job.

I told my computer it needed an upgrade, now it won't stop downloading.

I'm friends with a drawer, but it always keeps me closed out.

I tried to start a band with vegetables, but it just turnedip.

I asked my phone for directions, now it's lost its way.

I'm friends with a broom, we always sweep each other off our feet.

I told my computer it needed a restart, now it keeps rebooting.