How do politicians stay cool under pressure? They stay in the shade of their shady deals.

What's a politician's favorite dessert? A slice of gerrymandered cake.

How does a politician keep their breath fresh? They use spin mint.

Why did the politician sit on the clock? He wanted to be on the right side of history.

What do you call a politician who's not hungry? Unprecedented.

Why did the politician carry a map to Washington, DC? In case he got lost in his own policies.

What do you call a politician who can't make a decision? In office.

Why did the politician go to the bank? To get some change.

Why do politicians make terrible lifeguards? Because they can never keep their promises to throw out a lifebuoy.

What do you call a group of politicians watching a fireworks show? A great display of democracy.

What do you call a politician with their hands in their own pockets? A rare sight.

Why did the politician get stuck in the revolving door? He couldn't decide which way to spin.

What do you call a politician in a lion's den? A lying in wait politician!

Why did the politician bring a telescope to the rally? To see how far they can stretch the truth!

Why don't politicians like roller coasters? Because they can't handle the ups and downs of public opinion!

Why did the politician go to the circus? To learn new ways to juggle their promises!

What do you call a politician with a broken pencil? Pointless!

What's a politician's favorite gymnastics move? The flip-flop!

Why don't politicians use elevators? Because they're always taking the stairs to avoid accountability!

Why did the politician go to the library? To check out books on how to avoid answering questions!

What do you call a politician on a tightrope? A balancing act of empty promises!