How does a politician exercise? By dodging blame like it's a hot potato!

Why did the politician join the circus? To juggle more promises than ever before!

How does a politician keep track of their lies? With a Pinocchio-nose growth chart!

Why did the politician get lost in the cornfield? Because they couldn't see past the ears of corn!

What do you call a politician who can't swim? A sinker of votes!

Why did the politician rearrange the alphabet? To try and find a better way to spin the letters!

Why was the politician always in shape? Because they were constantly backpedaling!

How can you tell if a politician is a good swimmer? They're experts at treading water!

Why did the politician wear sunglasses to the election? To shade the truth!

What do you get when you cross a politician with a computer? A government that crashes often!

What's a politician's favorite type of precipitation? Raining promises!

How do politicians communicate in secret? Through cipher speeches!

Why do politicians always carry a pencil? To erase any trace of their past promises!

What do you call a politician who avoids taxes? Resourceful!

What do you get when you cross a politician with a circus performer? An expert at juggling the truth!

How do you get a politician to change a light bulb? Convince them it will boost their approval ratings!

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the election? To ensure they can tally up votes correctly!

Why are politicians like old couches? They're often full of stuffing and need to be replaced every few years!

What's the difference between a politician and a shopping cart? One carries your groceries, the other carries special interests!

How can you tell if a politician is honest? Check to see if their fingers are crossed behind their back!

What's a politician's favorite type of cookie? A filibuster!