Why did the politician bring a crossword puzzle to the security briefing? He thought he could solve the national crisis.

What's a politician's favorite type of sushi? Raw deal rolls.

Why did the politician go to the pet store? He heard they had a lot of party animals.

What do you call a politician at the carnival? A spin doctor.

Why did the politician bring a tape measure to the debate? To make sure his points were on track.

Why did the politician go to the art museum? He heard they had a lot of frames to shift the narrative.

Why did the politician go to the beach? He heard there were plenty of sandbars to lower.

What's a politician's favorite kind of fish? Lobbycod.

Why did the politician keep a plant in his office? He heard it was a good way to root for his constituents.

What do you call a politician on vacation? A legislator.

Why did the politician bring a pillow to the capital? He wanted to filibluster.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? He wanted a prescription for more votes.

Why did the politician switch to decaf? He was already high on power.

Why did the politician join the marathon? He heard there would be a running mate.

Why did the politician go to the eye doctor? He couldn't see eye to eye with his opponents.

What do you call a politician who's good at math? A polynomist.

How do politicians stay cool in the summer? They give each other the cold shoulder.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the town hall meeting? To reflect on his decisions.

What did the politician say when asked about his campaign promises? 'I'll circle back to you on that.'

Why did the politician bring a pillow to the negotiation? He wanted to cushion the blow.

How do politicians pass the time during a filibuster? They filibust a move.