Why did the politician go to art school? They had a talent for drawing red lines.

Why did the politician break up with their calculator? It kept dividing!

What do you call a politician who loses an election? A regular person.

How does a politician stay cool during a heated debate? They use their filibuster fan.

Why did the politician bring a map to Congress? They wanted to navigate through all the red tape.

What did the politician say to the screen door? Let me in, I'm polling well!

Why did the politician become a gardener? They wanted to sow their political seeds.

What's a politician's favorite part of the newspaper? The spin section!

Why did the politician eat their speech? They wanted to digest their talking points.

Why did the politician bring a thesaurus to the debate? They wanted to sound the most articulate.

What do you call a politician's favorite type of humor? Capitol puns!

How does a politician say goodbye? They filibuster their farewells.

What's a politician's favorite game? Monopoly – they love controlling everything.

What's a politician's favorite type of math? Poll-gebra!

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the debate? In case they wanted to draw some conclusions.

What do you call a group of politicians in a hot tub? A whirlpool of scandals.

Why did the politician go to the farm? To learn how to herd the public opinion!

Why did the politician hire a personal trainer? To keep their policies in shape!

How do politicians settle a disagreement? By taking it to the polls!

What do you call a politician who's also a magician? A disappearing act specialist!

How do politicians stay cool under pressure? By keeping a poker face!