What's a politician's favorite accessory? A flip-flopping tie.

Why did the politician go to the comedy show? To steal some material for their next speech.

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the debate? To try to rewrite history.

What do you call a politician who can't lie? Unemployed.

Why did the politician carry a mirror everywhere? So they could reflect on their actions.

How do politicians stay cool during debates? They have a fan club.

What do you call a group of politicians stranded on a deserted island? A chance for a new government system.

What's a politician's favorite time of year? Election season - it's when they bloom.

How do you get a politician to stop talking? Ask them to explain their own policies.

What do you call a politician who loses an election? A farewell tour.

Why did the politician join the circus? To learn how to juggle priorities.

What's a politician's favorite type of puzzle? A political jigsaw - it never seems to fit together.

How does a politician say goodbye? See you at the polls!

What do you call a politician who can play a musical instrument? A saxophone player.

What do you call a politician with great hair? A good mane-ager.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a dog? A barking mad representative!

Why don't politicians like to eat in public? They can't stand the scrutiny!

What did the politician do when the music stopped? He took the last chair!

Why did the politician go to the dentist? To improve his biting ability.

Why do politicians always seem lonely? They can never get their hands out of each other's pockets.

What do you call a zombie politician? A dead-icate.