Why was the politician out of breath? They were running on a campaign trail!

What do you call a politician who's always on time? A punctual candidate!

Why don't politicians use social media? They can't handle the 'follow' train!

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? To sum up their arguments!

How do politicians stay in shape for debates? They exercise their right to free speech!

Why did the politician visit the bakery? They were looking for a slice of the political pie!

Why don't politicians like gardening? They can't handle the root issues!

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the speech? To define their policies clearly!

Why don't politicians use elevators? They're always trying to take the stairs to success!

Why don't politicians trust the alphabet? They're always trying to rearrange the letters!

Why did the politician go to the library? They wanted to check out some political fiction!

How do politicians keep their speeches fresh? They use minted words!

Why don't politicians like playing cards? They can't handle a full deck of policies!

Why did the politician bring a broom to the debate? To sweep away the competition!

Why don't politicians use umbrellas? They prefer to make it rain with promises!

Why did the politician bring a microscope to the rally? To magnify their chances of winning!

What do you get when you cross a corrupt politician with a chicken? Foul play!

Why did the politician bring a parachute to the press conference? To show they're willing to jump to conclusions!

How do politicians cook their books? With a lot of political seasoning!

Why did the politician become an artist? They were good at painting over the truth!

Why was the politician always late? They were too busy running for office!