How does a politician make a decision? They flip-flop a coin.

Why did the politician refuse to play chess? They couldn't handle the check mate.

What do you call a politician who can't swim? A sinking official.

Why did the politician go to the shoe store? To find their soul.

How do politicians keep their clothes looking good? They always have a spin cycle.

Why did the politician bring a magnifying glass to the debate? To scrutinize their opponents.

What's a politician's favorite dance move? The fiscal shuffle.

Why did the politician visit the hardware store? To nail down their policies.

What's a politician's favorite seafood? Shrimpgate.

How do politicians communicate with each other? They send classified emails.

Why did the politician become an actor? They were already good at playing a role.

Why did the politician go to the art gallery? To brush up on their coloring outside the lines.

What's a politician's favorite type of cookie? Fig-ments of your imagination.

How do politicians stay in shape? They avoid taking a stance.

Why did the politician carry a calculator to the rally? To make sure their promises added up.

What do you call a politician with no teeth? A gummy bear-ocrat.

What do you call a politician who exercises? A treadmillionaire.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the campaign trail? To reflection on their chances.

What do you call a politician who wears a suit made of grass? A lawn-maker.

Why did the politician join the circus? They heard it was a good place to juggle priorities.

What's a politician's favorite type of weather? Poll-gathering storms.