What's a politician's favorite part of the newspaper? The opinion section.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the speech? To draw more support.

Why did the politician go to therapy? To discuss his commitment issues with promises.

I asked a politician for his opinion on renewable energy. He said he was blown away by the concept.

How do politicians sleep? First they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? He wanted to campaign at a higher level.

I told a politician a joke about taxes. He said it was too taxing.

I told my friend a joke about politicians, but it was over his head.

Why did the politician carry a map? He wanted to steer the conversation in the right direction.

I asked a politician what his favorite type of music was. He said he preferred spin doctors.

Why did the politician become a gardener? He heard they could help him cover up the dirt.

Why did the politician go to school? To brush up on his polling skills.

I asked a lawyer if they made good politicians. They said they'd have to review their terms before making a ruling.

How do politicians communicate underwater? Through deep-state secrets.

I told a politician a joke about the budget. He said it didn't add up.

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the speech? To redefine the issues at hand.

How do politicians like their data? Politically correct.

Why did the politician refuse to play hide and seek? They never want to be found out.

What do you call a politician who loves gardening? A planting official.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the rally? To tally up their promises.

What's a politician's favorite kind of tree? The bribe oak.