Why did the politician go to the farmer's market? To see if he could buy some votes with organic produce.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a magician? Smoke and mirrors with a side of political grandstanding.

Why did the politician get a job as a chef? So he could cook the books and the budget at the same time.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the debate? To draw out his arguments.

How do you stop a politician from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

Why couldn't the politician make a decision? He was undecided on whether to flip-flop or waffle.

Why did the politician go to therapy? He needed help unmasking his true agenda.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the rally? He wanted to draw support from the crowd.

What's a politician's favorite type of math? Legislation - because they love to divide and conquer.

Why was the politician like a tomato? Because he couldn't ketchup to the issues.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the press conference? He wanted to reflect on his past mistakes.

What did the politician say to the doormat? Vote for me - I'll walk all over you!

Why did the politician break up with his dictionary? It had too many commitments.

What's a politician's favorite food? SPAM - Silly Political Arguments and Misinformation!

Why did the politician go to the dentist? He had a lobbyists' cavity.

What did one politician say to the other politician? Let's be bipartisan and agree to disagree.

How do politicians say goodbye to each other? See you on the campaign trail!

What do you call a politician who can't make a decision? A flip-flopper.

What did the politician do at the farmer's market? He was trying to plant some seeds of change.

Why did the politician bring a telescope to the press conference? To see the big picture.

What did the politician say to the barber? Just a little off the top, please.