Why couldn't the politician find his keys? They were hidden in a pile of promises.

What do you call a politician who loves spicy food? A curry-er of favor.

Why did the politician carry a plant to the press conference? To show he was rooting for the people.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the meeting? To calculate his chances of winning the vote.

Why did the politician wear a mask to the photo-op? To hide his true intentions.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a clown? A joke that runs for office.

Why did the politician bring a shovel to the campaign trail? To dig up dirt on their opponent.

Why did the politician go to the seafood restaurant? To see if they could get a little mussels behind closed doors.

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the debate? To define their own reality.

Why did the politician bring a deck of cards to the negotiation table? To play their hand carefully.

Why did the politician go to the theme park? To try and spin the issues in their favor.

What do you call a politician who takes up gardening? A plant-ician.

Why did the politician bring headphones to the parliament session? To block out the haters.

How do politicians communicate in secret? They use encrypted poles.

Why did the politician start a bakery? Because he kneaded the dough.

What do you call a politician who's always cold? A chillibuster.

How does a politician say hello? They shake hands and kiss babies.

Why did the politician buy a thesaurus? To find more ways to spin things.

What do you call a group of politicians at the beach? The senate-tation.

Why did the politician carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw new boundaries.

Why was the politician good at baseball? Because he knew how to cover all his bases.