Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the negotiation? To filibust the time.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election campaign? He wanted to raise the bar.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? He had a severe case of filibusters.

What do you call a politician who's always lying? Pinnocchi-no.

Why did the politician get kicked out of the theater? He kept changing the script.

What did the politician say to the door-to-door salesman? 'I'm not buying it.'

Why did the politician bring a thermometer to the election? To measure the heat of the competition!

Why was the politician always calm? He knew how to filibluster!

How do politicians avoid getting lost? They follow the compass of public opinion!

Why did the politician wear sunglasses to the speech? To block out the shady deals!

Why did the politician join the circus? He heard they had a performing budget!

What do you call a politician who never lies? An endangered species!

How do politicians stay positive? They keep a negative campaign!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a magician? A disappearing surplus!

Why did the politician win the hot dog eating contest? He knew how to swallow his pride!

What do you call a politician who loves ice cream? A chilled leader!

Why did the politician invest in a greenhouse? To grow a cabinet of advisors!

How do politicians stay warm in the winter? With heated debates!

Why don't politicians like hanging out with comedians? They can't stand the political satire!

Why did the politician go to the art gallery? To paint a picture of success!

What do you call a politician who loves hiking? A bipartisan wanderer!