Why did the politician bring a GPS to the rally? To always know how to dodge tough questions.

Why was the politician a good gardener? They knew how to plant ideas in people's minds.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a snake? A venomous debate.

What's a politician's favorite accessory? Spin doctor.

What do you call a politician who can play a musical instrument? A lobbyist.

Why did the politician go to art school? To learn how to paint a rosy picture of their policies.

How do politicians stay in shape? Jumping to conclusions and dodging questions.

Did you hear about the politician who was a math genius? He could make numbers disappear faster than his approval rating.

Why did the politician go to school? To improve his campaign strategy by learning how to dodge tricky questions.

What do you call a group of politicians stuck in an elevator? A promising start to bipartisan cooperation.

How does a politician cool down? By standing next to their burning reputation.

What's a politician's favorite type of exercise? Dodging responsibility.

Why did the politician bring a map to Congress? To navigate through all the red tape.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they'll spend all day arguing about it.

Why did the politician invest in the stock market? To diversify their portfolio of bad decisions.

What do you call a politician who loses an election? Unemployed... temporarily.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a cheerleader? A lot of enthusiastic but empty promises.

Why did the politician become a magician? To distract voters from their disappearing campaign promises.

What's a politician's favorite winter activity? Snowing the public with misleading statements.

Why did the politician bring a thesaurus to the debate? To sound more knowledgeable without saying anything of substance.

Why did the politician bring a camera crew to the town hall meeting? To ensure they're always in the spotlight.