What do you call a politician who loves to gamble? A betting representative.

Why did the politician go to the pet store? He heard they had a special on political parrots.

How does a politician apologize? By blaming their staff for the mistake.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a snake? A slytherin government official.

Why did the politician go to the circus? To learn how to juggle the issues.

What do politicians and acrobats have in common? They both know how to spin things around.

How do politicians like their coffee? With a large amount of campaign grounds.

Why did the politician get a job at the bakery? To sugarcoat his policies.

Why did the politician join the military? To learn the art of strategic retreats.

Why did the politician bring a map to the election? To make sure he stayed on the right path.

How do politicians greet each other? With campaign signs of affection.

What's a politician's favorite food? Spinach dip-lomacy.

What's a politician's favorite superhero? Taxman.

Why did the politician go to the comedy club? To work on his filibuster routine.

How do politicians make decisions? They flip a coin and blame the economy.

Why did the politician bring a map to Congress? So he could find his way back to his principles.

What do you call a group of politicians stuck in a hot air balloon? A government in disarray.

Why did the politician go to school? To learn how to spin things in his favor.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a clown? A funny business.

How did the politician win the election? By promising to be transparent...like a ghost.

Why was the politician afraid of fractions? Because he heard they could divide and conquer.