How do politicians handle stress? They pass the buck!

Why did the politician go to therapy? To deal with his commitment issues!

How do politicians communicate in secret? They hold a cabinet meeting!

Why did the politician go to the barbershop? To get a little off the top, and a lot off the bottom line!

What's a politician's favorite type of movie? The Shawshank Redistricting!

Why did the politician visit the farmer's market? To pick up some fresh votes!

What's a politician's favorite type of dessert? Flip-flop cake - it's always changing layers!

Why was the politician always calm during an argument? He had a filibuster button!

How do you stop a politician from drowning? Remove your foot from his neck!

Why do politicians never play hide and seek? Good luck finding them when it's time to vote!

Did you hear about the politician who fell into the joke pond? He was impeached!

Why did the politician go to the doctor? Because he had a lot of red tape!

How does a politician say goodbye? 'See you in court!'

Why did the scarecrow become a politician? He was outstanding in his field!

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They can't help but lie through their teeth!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a rock star? A campaign trail mix!

What do you call a dishonest politician? A counterfeit!

What's a politician's favorite Disney movie? The Lion King - they love the circle of life!

Why did the politician break up with the calendar? He felt like he was always getting the runaround!

Why did the politician become a gardener? To plant seeds of change!

How do politicians write letters? With a lot of stationary points!