Why did the politician hire a plumber? To fix all the leaks in their campaign promises!

Why did the politician go to the doctor? Because they had a lot of back-pedaling to do!

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? A voter!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a snake? A hiss-ter!

Why did the politician break up with their phone? It kept dropping calls, just like their approval rating!

Why did the politician bring a thesaurus to the debate? To sound unified even when they're contradicting themselves!

Why did the politician join the orchestra? To conduct their own spin!

How do politicians greet each other? With a wave and a poll!

Why did the politician bring a shovel to the rally? To dig themselves out of their own lies!

How does a politician stop a disaster? They just declare it a success and move on!

Why did the politician wear sunglasses to the budget meeting? To block out the haters!

What did the politician say to the scandal? 'Don't worry, I'll cover you!'

Why did the politician go to the baseball game? He wanted to practice his pitching!

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? To calculate their lies per minute!

What's a politician's favorite type of snack? Pork barrel peanuts!

How do politicians communicate in the forest? They use their lobbyist trees!

Why did the politician join a band? To master the spin cycle!

What do you call a politician at the beach? A sand baron!

How does a politician spell relief? H-y-p-o-c-r-i-s-y!

What's a politician's favorite outdoor activity? Dodging responsibility!

Why did the politician become a referee? They already know how to blow calls!