Why did the politician bring a mirror to the debate? So he could practice his fake smiles.

How does a politician make a decision? They flip a coin and blame the coin for the outcome.

Why did the politician join the basketball team? To practice his dribbling skills when avoiding questions.

Why was the politician always carrying a shovel? To dig himself out of the holes he kept digging.

What do you call a politician who sleeps all day? A nap-italist!

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It couldn't handle his constant division!

Did you hear about the politician who was a great dancer? He had some amazing two-stepping around the issues.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? He wanted to raise the bar.

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It couldn't help him figure out how to balance the budget.

Did you hear about the politician who went to the magic show? He kept pulling money out of thin air.

Why did the politician go to the baseball game? He heard they were good at stealing bases.

What do you call a politician who's also a detective? A private investigator in public office.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the debate? He wanted to see his reflection in the polls.

What's a politician's favorite exercise? Contortion, to twist the truth.

Why did the politician start a garden? He heard it was a good way to plant seeds of change.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a cat? A purr-fectly deceitful companion.

Why did the politician go to the beach? He heard there were a lot of shady deals happening under the sun.

What do you call a politician who can play musical instruments? A sax and violins player.

Why did the politician go to the bakery? He wanted to butter up the constituents.

Why did the politician go to the art museum? He heard they were experts at framing the issues.

What's a politician's favorite type of comedy? Slapstick, because they're always dodging responsibility.