Why did the politician bring a map to the campaign rally? He wanted to secure the swing states!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a snake? A slippery politician!

How do politicians handle disagreements? They vote on it, just like a dysfunctional family!

Why did the politician switch careers to become a chef? He heard it was easier to cook the books in the kitchen!

What do you call a politician who is really good at telling jokes? A corrupt comedian!

Why did the politician go to the bank? To get his campaign funds!

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It kept dividing the nation!

How did the politician get in shape for the election? He did a lot of 'running' for office!

What kind of tea do politicians drink? Liber-tea!

How does a politician stay cool during a heatwave? They stay in the shade of their political agenda!

Why did the politician go back to school? To brush up on his 'political science'!

How do politicians say goodbye? They wave their campaign signs!

Why did the politician go to the bank? To see if he could get a little more interest!

Why did the politician go to the doctor? Because he had a briefcase of 'ills'!

Why did the politician put his money in the blender? He wanted to make a cash smoothie!

Why did the politician carry a ladder? To try to reach new heights in the polls!

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the election? To reflect on his campaign strategies!

What do you get when you cross a politician with a whistle? A toot and a tweet!

How does a politician introduce himself at a party? 'Hi, I'm running for time!'

Why did the politician sleep under the desk? He wanted to run for office in his dreams!

What do you call a politician with an idea? A legislator!