How does a politician deal with a broken heart? By proposing new policies.

What do you call a group of politicians? A legislation.

How does a politician exercise? By jumping to conclusions.

What did the politician say to the conspiracy theorist? Let's run for office together.

Why did the politician switch careers to become a carpenter? They wanted to build bridges with their constituents.

What do you call a politician who breaks the law? A criminal offense.

How does a politician cool down? They just flip-flop.

How do politicians stay organized? They keep all their promises in a file called 'Empty Promises'.

What do you call a politician who loves to gamble? A betting candidate.

Why did the politician bring a coat hanger to the debate? He needed something to hang his lies on.

Why are politicians like baby diapers? They're always full of crap.

What did one politician say to the other about the upcoming election? 'I'm ready to vote for myself.'

Why did the politician take up gardening? He wanted to learn how to plant fake seeds of hope.

Why don't politicians watch scary movies? They get enough nightmares just from reading the news.

Why did the politician bring a hot air balloon to the debate? To showcase his empty promises.

Why are politicians like balloons? Full of hot air and ready to burst at any moment.

What do you call a politician who can juggle? A master at handling multiple scandals.

Why did the politician bring a football to the debate? He was used to passing the blame.

What did the politician say to the mirror? 'You reflect me perfectly.'

Why don't politicians play poker? They prefer to gamble with people's futures instead.

How do politicians keep their secrets safe? By burying them under piles of bureaucracy.