Why did the politician switch to decaf? He couldn't handle the high stress levels anymore.

What did the politician say to the angry constituents? 'I hear you, but I'm not listening.'

Why did the politician refuse to sit down? He was used to always being on the fence.

What do you call a politician who can't make decisions? Un-electable.

Why do politicians make terrible poker players? They always fold under pressure.

Why did the politician take up yoga? To perfect the art of bending the truth.

What do you call a politician's favorite baseball team? The Washington Lies.

Why did the politician start a band? To appeal to the swing voters.

Why did the politician bring a snorkel to the debate? To navigate the sea of misinformation.

Why did the politician major in architecture? He wanted to learn how to build bridges and burn them.

Why did the politician refuse to wear a tie? He was tired of being choked by his own words.

What's a politician's favorite type of dessert? Pander-ing cake.

Why did the politician become a beekeeper? He wanted to work with something buzz-worthy.

Why did the politician switch to an all-dairy diet? He heard it was the best whey to gain votes.

Why did the politician refuse to eat ice cream? He was lactose intolerant toward bipartisan dessert choices.

Why did the politician bring a ruler to the debate? To measure up to the competition.

Why was the politician always late? He couldn't change his stance until he saw which way the wind was blowing.

What's a politician's favorite food? Flip-flopjacks.

Why did the politician take up gardening? He wanted to plant seeds of change.

Why did the politician enroll in a coding class? He heard it was a great skill for dodging questions.

What do you call a politician who loves spicy food? A pepperoni.