How do politicians communicate underwater? They use intercom-unications.

Why did the politician go to the beach? To work on his sand dollar policy.

What do you call a politician who loves desserts? A pie-litician!

What do you call a politician who's also a magician? A sleight-of-hand politician.

Why did the politician go to the auto shop? To fine-tune his policies.

What do you call a group of politicians on a boat? A cabinet reshuffle.

How do politicians handle stress? By passing the buck!

Why did the politician go to the soccer game? To score points with the fans.

What do you call a politician with a bad memory? Re-election amnesia!

Why did the politician bring a telescope to the rally? To see the big picture.

How do politicians enjoy their toast? With a side of buttering up constituents!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a comedian? A jesting legislator!

Why did the politician go to the farmer's market? To cultivate new policies.

What do you call a politician who loves cookies? A chipmunk-ocrat.

What do you call a politician who can't make up his mind? A flip-flopocrat.

What do you call a politician who's also a baker? A pie-lot.

Why did the politician bring a parachute to the rally? To show he's ready for any political fall.

Why did the politician join the gardening club? He wanted to make some grassroots connections.

What do you call a politician who's also a magician? A wand-idate.

Why did the politician become a comedian? He heard politics was a joke, so he decided to join in.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a detective? Someone who's always trying to solve political mysteries.