What do you call a politician who is always on time? An elected official.

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They can't stop filibustering!

What do you call a politician who is also a comedian? A jokester of all trades.

Why was the politician always calm during debates? He had a good campaign strategy.

What do you call a religious politician? A pray-ther than a doer!

Why did the politician go to the dentist? To get rid of the campaign plaque.

Why did the politician bring a map to the rally? He was trying to navigate his policies.

What's a politician's favorite type of humor? Capital pun-ishment!

What do you call a polite politician? Well-campaign-ed.

Why was the math book unhappy with the government? It had too many problems.

What do you call a group of politicians stuck in a minefield? A gridlock!

Why did the politician take a pencil to the debate? He wanted to draw the line.

Why did the politician bring a camping tent to the rally? To appeal to the 'intense camper' demographic.

Why did the politician become a referee? To call fouls on the opposition.

Why did the politician go to the comedy club? To test out his jokes in a friendly environment.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a comedian? A politician who already has a day job.

Why did the politician become a tour guide? To lead people in circles around the real issues.

What do you call a politician who can't keep a secret? Vice President.

Why did the politician bring a broom to the rally? To sweep his scandals under the rug.

Why did the politician go to the playground? To practice playing nice with others.

Why did the politician start a garden? To show he could make things grow... just not the economy.