Why did the politician go to the seafood restaurant? To see if they could curry a little favor.

What do you call a politician who loses an election? A regular citizen.

Why did the politician break up with the calendar? He couldn't deal with too many dates.

Why do politicians always tell lies? They can't handle the truth.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a lawyer? A loophole in the system.

Why did the politician wear sunglasses? To avoid getting caught in the shady deals.

Why did the politician switch to decaf coffee? He was getting too jittery during filibusters.

What do you call a politician who is also a dog trainer? A well-groomed legislator.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Why did the politician make a good gardener? He was great at planting seeds of doubt.

What do you call a politician who is afraid of heights? A coward-ly official.

What's a politician's favorite clothing item? A double standard.

Did you hear about the politician who became a baker? Now he's just loafing around.

When politicians get too old, do they turn into cabinet members? Asking for a friend.

Why did the politician take a spoon to the debate? He wanted to stir things up.

How do politicians stay cool during speeches? They have fans in every corner.

What do you call a fly that lands on a politician's head? A concerned citizen.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the speech? He heard it was a write-off.

What do you call a politician who's good with numbers? A statistrician!

Why did the politician become a magician? So he could keep pulling promises out of a hat!

Why was the politician always on the fence? He couldn't decide which side was more electable!