Why did the politician switch careers to become a musician? So he could create more empty promises!

How do politicians stay in power? By making sure their foundation is built on quicksand!

Why did the politician become a gardener? Because he heard it was a great way to root out corruption!

Why do politicians make great comedians? Because their promises are always a joke!

Why did the politician become a chef? So he could grill his opponents!

Why was the politician a good race car driver? Because he was always changing lanes!

How can you tell if a politician is lying? Check to see if his pantsuits are on fire!

What do you call a politician who sails the high seas? A pirate of public opinion!

Why did the politician go to the therapist? To work on his double speak!

Why did the politician bring a GPS to the election? So he wouldn't lose his way to the polls!

What do you get when you mix a politician with a comedian? A joke that gets elected!

How do politicians stay healthy? They exercise their right to bear arms!

How do politicians stay ahead of the game? They always have a backup plan in case of elections!

How do politicians sleep at night? First they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.

What do you call it when a politician breaks the law? A bypass!

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the campaign? To find new ways to spin his words!

How do politicians handle rejection? They pass a bill and move on to the next vote!

Why did the politician bring a microphone to the baseball game? To announce his home run policies!

Why did the politician switch to eating vegetables? He heard it was a great way to be a little more bipartisan.

What do you call a politician who is always chasing after the spotlight? A photobomber.

Why did the politician decide to become a magician? So he could make promises disappear.