Why did the politician go to the music store? To pick up some spin records!

How do politicians say goodbye? They wave their rights!

Why did the politician go to the theater? To perfect their act of governing!

What do you call a sleepy politician? A Napitolist!

How do politicians stay organized? They file their promises in a cabinet!

Why did the politician go to the bakery? To try and get a slice of the election cake!

What do you call a politician who runs marathons? A campaigner!

Why did the politician go to the supermarket? To try and bag some votes!

What do you call a politician who is also a chef? A master of spin!

How do politicians communicate underwater? They use lobbiests!

Why did the politician go to the zoo? To learn how to handle all the political animals!

What do you call a scared politician? A chicken congressman!

Why did the politician go to the farm? To learn how to milk the votes!

What do you call a politician who loves gardening? A grassroots advocate!

Why did the politician go to the hair salon? To get a fresh perspective on their politics!

What do you call a politician who is good at poker? A master of bluffing!

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? To try and add up their support!

How do politicians stay fit? They exercise their right to remain silent!

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the speech? To make sure they didn't filibuster their words!

What do you call a politician who is always honest? An endangered species!

Why was the politician always late? They were too busy filibustering traffic!