Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The pee is silent.

Do you want a brief explanation of what a pun is? No, it's more of a play on words.

I'm friends with all the pages of the calendar. Every one of them has its own date!

I once swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I broke my wrist while I was on a rollercoaster. It was a real twist of fate.

I'm good friends with a pencil because we're always on the same page.

I fell in love with a singer. She stole my heart, but now I'm a victim of larceny.

I used to work at a coloring factory, but I felt blue all the time.

I'm friends with a clockmaker, but our friendship is ticking away.

I tried to write a book about turtles, but it moved too slow.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't root for the right team.

I tried to perform comedy at the cemetery, but the audience was dead silent.

I used to work at a shoe store, but I couldn't get my foot in the door.

I'm friends with a clockmaker, but our friendship is winding down.

I used to be a locksmith, but I couldn't unlock the potential in it.

I used to be a pilot, but I couldn't handle the turbulence.

I used to be a dentist, but I couldn't handle the toothache.

I'm friends with a baker, but our friendship is a crumbly one.

I used to be a banker, but I couldn't penny pinch.

I used to be a chef, but I couldn't find the thyme to continue.

I used to be a musician, but I lost my rhythm.