I told my wife she should try skydiving, but she said that was not her fall-t.

I told my wife she should become a doctor, but she said that was not her pill-ing.

I told a joke about pencils, but it didn't draw much of a reaction.

I told a joke about construction, but it was riveting.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest and changed careers.

I told a joke about earthquakes, but it fell flat.

I told my wife she should do a cartwheel to stay in shape. That would be a flipping good idea.

I told my wife she should become a baker, but it wasn't her cup of tea.

I used to be a gardener, but I had to leaf that job behind.

I can't trust stairs anymore, they're always up to something.

I used to be a shoe maker, but I couldn't keep up with the heels.

I used to be good at math, but then I realized I had too many problems.

I told my wife she should open a bakery, but she wouldn't knead the dough.

I'm friends with a mathematician, but he's always dividing his time.

I told a skeleton pun, but it was humerus.

I'm writing a book on poltergeists. It's hauntingly good!

I'm thinking about opening a bakery, but I knead to rise to the occasion.

I used to be a gardener, but I planted myself in the wrong job.

I'm studying to become a doctor, but I'm not 100% sure.

I told a joke about onions, but it made me cry.

I used to be a fan of escalators, but I'm not anymore. They let me down every time.