I'm reading a book on submarines. It really dives deep.

I told my wife she should take up fishing. She thought it was a reel suggestion.

I told my wife she should do math to stay sharp. She didn't subtract my idea.

I used to be a train conductor, but I couldn't stay on track.

I told my wife she should do a marathon. She said it's not her stride.

I told my computer it was my biggest fan. It didn't respond.

I told my wife she should read a book on anti-gravity. She said it's over her head.

I used to be an electrician, but I had too many shocking experiences.

I used to be a gardener, but I'm in a bit of a pickle now.

The chef's bread puns were stale, crust me.

I tried to write a pun about water, but it was too deep.

My joke about rocks was a real gem.

The musician's pun about drums was a real hit.

The comedian told a time-travel joke, but nobody understood it yet.

I knew a guy who collected candy canes. He sucked at it.

I'm friends with an elevator. It's always up for a good time.

I'm friends with everyone. They're all acquaintances.

I stay up all night to see where the sun goes. Then it dawns on me.

I'm friends with a vegetable. It's my celery.

I'm friends with a calendar. It's my date.

Why did the cucumber get in trouble? It was in a pickle.