Why did the mathematician take a geometry class? To get a better angle.

I'm friends with a tree; it always has my bark.

I tried to become a comedian, but I couldn't find the right punchline.

I'm friends with a pen; it always writes me notes.

Why was the dictionary a good friend? It always defined me.

I told a joke about sushi, but it wasn't very fishy.

I'm friends with a tree; it always sticks with me.

I'm friends with all the vowels; they always make me feel whole.

I'm friends with a calendar; it's always there for me.

I'm friends with a tree; it always roots for me.

I told a baseball joke, but it didn't catch on.

I'm friends with a light bulb; it brightens up my day.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but time was against me.

I'm friends with a door; it always has a handle on things.

Why did the musician get kicked out of the band? He had too much treble.

I'm friends with glass; it sees right through me.

I suggested to my wife to do yoga to stay in shape. She twisted my words around.

I tried to organize a feast for birds, but they flew the coop before it started.

I tried to organize a feast for cows, but they thought it was utterly ridiculous.

I suggested to my wife to do lunges to stay in shape. She didn't seem to step up to the challenge.

I tried to organize a feast for sheep, but they kept counting themselves out.