I'm friends with a calendar; it has me scheduled for fun.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't plant a joke.

Why did the math book feel anxious? It had too many problems.

I'm friends with a forest; it's always branching out.

I'm friends with a bicycle; it always pedals with me.

Why are math books always stressed? They have too many problems.

I'm friends with all the vowels; they are AEIOUtsanding.

I told a joke about a belt, but it was waistful.

I'm friends with paper; it always sheets me right.

I had a pun about wind, but it blew away.

I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just wasn't the right fit.

I'm friends with bananas; they never split on me.

I'm friends with a pun; it always plays on me.

Why was the math book upset? It was full of problems.

I thought about opening a bakery, but it was a half-baked idea.

Why was the calendar so popular? It always had a date.

I'm friends with a tree; it always leaves me smiling.

I tried to write a joke about pencils, but I couldn't erase it.

Why was the math book feeling irrational? It couldn't square root its problems.

I tried to write a joke about eggs, but it cracked me up.

I'm friends with a clock; it's always hands-on.