I used to be a musician, but I couldn't handle the flute.

I told my computer I was feeling blue, but it didn't have a solution.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his derivative.

I told my wife she should do burpees to stay in shape. She jumped to it.

Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired of leaning on others.

I told a joke about ships, but it sailed over their heads.

Why did the math book look surprised? It found the answer square root.

I told a joke about football, but it got intercepted.

I used to be a janitor, but I couldn't sweep up the competition.

I told my wife she should box to stay in shape. That would be a knockout.

I told my wife she should swim to stay in shape. That would be a stroke of genius.

I used to be a mapmaker, but I couldn't find my way around.

Why did the strawberry turn down the date? It was too seedy.

I told my wife she should dance to stay in shape. That would be a step in the right direction.

Why did the balloon go to the party? It wanted to be the life of the inflate.

Why did the bread go to therapy? It was feeling crumby.

I told my wife she should run to stay in shape. That would be a running joke.

I told my wife to write with a broken pencil. It's pointless.

Why did the firefly break up with the lightning bug? It couldn't handle the spark.

I used to be a dentist, but I couldn't bite down on the job.

I told my dentist a joke about floss, but it was too cheesy.