I told my wife she should do marathons to stay in shape, now she's always running late.

I told my wife she should skip to stay in shape, now she's always skipping ahead.

I used to be a baker, but all my plans were half-baked.

I told my wife she should do sprints to stay in shape, now she's sprinting away.

I told my wife she should do curls to stay in shape, now she's always curling up.

I told my wife she should do kettlebell swings to stay in shape, now she swings all day long.

I told my wife she should do HIIT to stay in shape, now she's hitting the gym hard.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I think I need to work on my vowels.

I told my wife she should do yoga to stay in shape, now she's always stretching.

I told my wife she should do Pilates to stay in shape, now she's throwing a fit.

I told my wife she should do cardio to stay in shape, now she's racing around.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I need to check in on u.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I wish I could be more like u.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I'm just not in the mood for vowels.

I told my wife she should do burpees to stay in shape, now she's burping all the time.

I used to play piano with my nose, but I couldn't face the music.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I'm just not on the same page as u.

I'm giving up on looking for my keys, they're just not my type.

I used to be a chef, but I couldn't ketchup with the competition.

I have a joke about construction, but it's still in the planning stage.

I used to be a shoe salesman, but it was a big step down.