Why did the scarecrow go to school? To get a little straw-nemental education.

I'm reading a book on chemistry, but I can't seem to bond with it.

I told my friend a joke about construction, but it didn't go over well.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't find a bloomin' good job.

I tried to make a joke about tacos, but it was too cheesy.

I told my computer I needed more storage space, now it won't stop showing me closets for sale.

I told my dog to stay, now he won't stop telling paw-some jokes.

I'm friends with musicians because they always hit the right notes with me.

I'm friends with plants because they're all about growth.

I'm sick of people pushing their beliefs on me. I prefer doors.

I always take life with a pinch of salt and a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.

I bought a bunny because it was a hare-raising experience.

Did you hear about the crime at the parking garage? It was carjacking.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't dig up the dirt.

I used to be a hoop dancer, but I couldn't hula it off.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't plant the seeds of success.

I used to be a carpenter, but I couldn't handle the hammering.

Why did the scarecrow become a therapist? He was outstanding in his field.

I used to be a swimmer, but I couldn't handle the deep end.

Why did the train attend therapy? It had too many choo-choos.

I used to be a clockmaker, but I couldn't handle the ticking.