What did the pen say to the pencil? You've got the write stuff.

Why did the lamp and the couch break up? Their relationship was getting too shady.

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom? Odor in the court!

What did the hat say to the scarf? You're really wrapping things up.

Why did the mathematician break up with his calculator? It just didn't add up.

Why did the tomato turn down the cucumber's advances? He couldn't ketchup to his feelings.

Why did the math book and the dictionary break up? They couldn't agree on the definition of love.

What did the grape say to the banana? Stop peeling away from me.

Why did the balloon break up with the popsicle? He was too cold-hearted.

Why did the math book and the biology book break up? They couldn't find a common denominator.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? It didn't say anything, it just waved.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his girlfriend's house? He wanted to take their relationship to the next level.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired from carrying all the weight of the relationship.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You're so well-rounded.

Why did the sunglasses break up with the hat? They just couldn't see eye to eye.

Why did the chef break up with the sous chef? Too many cooks in the kitchen.

What did the book say to the bookmark? You keep my place in this world.

Why did the doctor break up with the nurse? It was a bedside manner issue.

What did the pillow say to the blanket? We make a great couple, let's cover each other.

Why did the scientist break up with the lab assistant? The chemistry just wasn't there.

What did the mountain say to the valley? I'm peaking over you.