Why did the man bring a mirror to his date? He wanted to see if they were a good match.

Why did the man break up with his gym? It just wasn't working out.

I told my girlfriend she should open a bakery. She said she kneaded some time to think about it.

Why did the woman break up with her shoes? They just weren't the right fit.

Why did the man break up with his dentist? He couldn't handle the drill.

I told my husband he should try yoga. He said, 'Namaste away from me.'

Why did the woman bring a compass on her date? She heard love can be a directionless journey.

Why did the man break up with his computer? It just kept crashing on him.

Why did the couple go to therapy? They needed to work on their co-dependents.

Why did the gardener break up with his girlfriend? She was always planting seeds of doubt.

Why did the vegetable couple go to therapy? They had too many turnip.

Why did the scientist break up with his girlfriend? She didn't give him enough space.

Why did the lumberjack break up with his girlfriend? She was always chipping away at his confidence.

What happened to the car and the motorcycle in a relationship? They drove each other crazy.

Why did the candle break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his wick jokes.

What do you call a relationship between a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Why did the music producer break up with his girlfriend? She was always trying to orchestrate things.

Why did the chicken break up with the duck? Too much fowl play.

I told my wife she should do yoga to improve our relationship. Now she's mad at me for stretching the truth.

My girlfriend told me she wants to be treated like a queen. So I gave her a crown and told her to start ruling.

I asked my wife if she ever dreams of me, she said no, she's too busy counting sheep.