Why did the grammar book and the dictionary break up? They had too many unresolved definitions.

Why did the fruit basket go to couples therapy? It had too many melon-collies.

What did the napkin say to the ketchup? 'Stop sauce-ing me!'

What do you call two birds in love who live together? Tweet-mates!

Why did the salt and pepper break up? They just couldn't spice things up anymore.

What did the scarf say to the hat? 'You're a real head-turner!'

Why did the basketball player break up with the soccer player? They were in different leagues.

What do you call a bear with a cold? A snotty bear!

Why did the bicycle break up with the scooter? It couldn't handle the speed.

Why did the chess set break up? They were bored of the same old moves.

Why did the tree break up with the bush? It was tired of all the shade.

What did the pillow say to the blanket? You make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Why did the math teacher break up with the English teacher? They just couldn't find the right formula.

What did the blue paint say to the red paint? We make a great couple.

Why did the salad break up with the croutons? It felt too crunchy.

What did the sandwich say to the chips? Let's stick together.

Why did the smartphone break up with the tablet? It needed more space.

Why did the bacon break up with the eggs? It couldn't deal with the sizzle anymore.

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these a lift.

Why did the candle break up with the match? It wasn't a good match.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? It couldn't take the ticking anymore.