Did you hear about the mathematician who was in love with negative numbers? She'll stop at nothing to make it work.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to a comedy show. She said, 'Why go watch others when we live with one?'

Why did the man get into a relationship with a chef? He wanted a taste of love.

I told my girlfriend she should learn to balance her work and personal life. She asked me if that meant she should buy another scale.

Why did the magician break up with his assistant? She kept disappearing on him.

I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a romantic movie. She said, 'Why watch when we can create our own love story?'

My girlfriend said she needed some space. So I locked her in the trunk and drove to the moon.

I told my wife she should do sit-ups to stay in shape. She looked around and said, 'Why, do you think they're hiding somewhere?'

My girlfriend said she wanted a fairy-tale romance. So I locked her in a tower and waited for a knight to rescue her.

Why did the woman break up with the baker? She couldn't handle his commitment to buns.

I asked my husband if he wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. He said, 'Why go out when I can dine with a queen at home?'

Why don't relationships work out between circuits? They can't seem to find a good connection.

Why did the man propose to his dentist? Because he wanted to floss every day.

I used to date a baker, but she always had too many rolls.

My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.

Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? He didn't have the guts.

I told my wife she should do sit-ups to stay in shape. That way she can sit up and watch TV.

I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but then I didn't show up. I hope she gets the message.

Why did the belt break up with the pants? They were too tight.

My husband and I are like two peas in a pod. Not because we're perfect for each other, but because we annoy the shell out of each other.

I told my wife she should do more squats. She said, 'I would, but I'm afraid I'll crack under pressure.'