Why did the man break up with his internet router? It kept buffering their relationship.

I asked my wife if she wanted to dance. She said, 'Sure, but who's going to lead?'

My girlfriend said she wanted to role-play in the bedroom. I said, 'That's great, I'll be a doctor.' She replied, 'And I'll be your bill collector.'

Why did the woman bring a map to her date? She heard the guy was a real catch and wanted to find him.

Why do bees have such messy breakups? Because they can't handle the pollen-arity.

My boyfriend said he wanted to be more spontaneous. So I threw him a surprise breakup.

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant on their first date? They heard it was a plaice to meet.

I asked my girlfriend what she sees in me. She said, 'The reflection of true love.'

My wife said she wanted a romantic evening. So I took her to the hardware store to pick out a new rake.

Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It couldn't handle the distance.

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in love at first sight. He said, 'Of course, that's why I keep my eyes closed when we kiss.'

Why did the relationship counselor bring a map to work? To help couples navigate the rough patches.

My boyfriend said he wanted a break, so I gave him a Kit Kat. Now he's my ex.

Why did the man propose to his computer? Because he couldn't find a better match.

I told my wife she should cut down on sugar. She told me I should cut down on being home by 6 pm.

Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? In case they needed to draw closer.

My girlfriend said I never take her anywhere expensive. So I took her to the gas station.

Why did the woman break up with the baker? He kept loafing around.

Why did the man bring a mirror to his date? To reflect on their relationship.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. You look at your X and wonder Y.

My boyfriend and I met on the internet dating site for vegetarians. Turns out we've bean together for years.