Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of commitment? He had too many irrational fears.

Why did the girl break up with the calendar? She found out it was days late all the time.

Why did the skeleton go on a date alone? He didn't have the guts to ask anyone out.

What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.

My girlfriend is like a fine wine. She's expensive and gives me a headache if I have too much.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, 'Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.' So, I got her nothing.

Why did the math book break up with the history book? They just couldn't work out their differences.

Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a beach? Because he wanted to see her wave.

Why did the girl break up with the calendar? Because it had too many dates.

Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets.

Why did the couple go to the baseball game? Because they heard it was a good catch.

Why did the man break up with his internet girlfriend? Because he felt like he was being catfished.

Why did the girl dump her musician boyfriend? Because he couldn't handle his commitment issues.

Why did the woman bring a pencil to her date? In case there was a draw.

Why did the man propose to the baker? Because she was his perfect match.

Why did the man break up with the tennis player? Because love meant nothing to her.

Why did the girl bring a scale to her date? To weigh her options.

Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? Because she didn't have the guts.

Why did the man bring a map to his date? Because he didn't want things to get too off track.

Why did the woman break up with the ghost? Because he was always disappearing.

Why did the man break up with his calculator? Because he couldn't count on it.